Twas the night before pick up, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the tri-cam with care,
In hopes that Mobile Mini soon would be there;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of container guards danced in their heads;
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of security to objects below,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a naughty little robber, and his burglar gear.
That big bad thief, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment he would try to pick.
Like a pack of wolves his comrades’ they came,
And he whistled and shouted, and called them by name.
“Now, SLASHER! Now, BANDIT! Now, MUGGER and SWINDLER!
On, RAIDER! On PLUNDERER! On, FRAUDSTER and LIFTER!
To the door of the container! To take what’s inside!
Now Breakaway! Breakaway! Breakaway all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When met with an obstacle, continue to try.
So up to the unit-top his comrades they climbed,
With a bucket of tools, and evil in mind.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard from the street
The prying and sawing attempt on our fleet.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the street the cops came with a bound.
They were dressed in all black, from their head to their toes,
And their faces were covered including their nose.
A bundle of cuffs they each flung on their backs,
While trying to decide what they would place in their sacks.
To my dismay a figure appeared.
With the stance of a hero lacking all fear.
He tiptoed around to check out the scene.
Careful not to make a noise and remain unseen.
His eyes — how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a torch he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a big round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old man,
And I got scared when he saw me, unsure of his plan;
With the wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
The chubby man assured me, I had nothing to dread;
The cops soon arrived and the jolly man disappeared;
The robbers attempted to flee from the cops that they feared.
They each pointed to the other, wanting not to take fault;
Thank goodness, the cops arrived to put this to a halt.
They held their heads low, and went straight to jail,
All stuffed in one cell and unable to make bail.
The judge wasn’t pleased, the jury wasn’t either;
The robbers lost all hope of being given breather.
The chubby man sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!